Its been a strange week here, 3 of my “friends” have labeled me racist. My pal Angie says that I am not a racist as I am not a white person. I looked it up on Wikipedia. I don’t fit the definition, so there ya go Angie is right. I see humor where it is meant to be. The most recent posting I was called a racist was a picture of two men, labeled rednecks, using a new word, Obama. Used in a sentence ‘ I drank a six pack of beer Obama self. Now that is funny. My comment was “I think this is like Ebonics, maybe it will just fade away…” Ebonics is a real word and you could get a degree in it from Stanford University. Nothing racist about that, funny but real.
Had I used derogatory words like the dreaded W word or some other colorful metaphor to describe rednecks then I guess I could have been racist. Seems to me that people see in others what they are themselves.
I think I am very funny. Sometimes a new apprentice will not be as respectful as I think they should be so I give them the impression that they are going to be ‘cursed with loose bowel movements’. My apprentices see me change the weather in 5 minutes or less, remove pain in the body in seconds, colored quartz changes colors when I touch it as it becomes blessed to store spiritual energy just from my touch or the words of my blessing. When they think I am displeased they have to wonder did he really do it just to show me he could. I had an apprentice who was getting a divorce she is 5‘2 ¾” tall and her husband was 6’4” tall. When they would argue he would menace her by standing very close and looking down on her. It frightened her, so I told her that I would give him the runs every time he did it. She said you can’t do that, can you? I replied, of course I can, just watch what happens next time. Within 24 hours she had called me to say, ‘OMG he was menacing me again and all of a sudden he grabbed his stomach and ran to the bathroom. He has been in there 30 minutes already.” I said don’t worry he should be out in another 30 to 45 minutes. Even though I am good to my apprentices they know I have a sense of humor.
Sometimes they take action even when they don’t need to. One such apprentice thought she was in trouble, and took some laxatives so she wouldn’t be effected by the ‘curse’. Spent the whole weekend giving offerings to the porcelain god. On Monday she called and said you didn’t do anything did you? I said, No not at all. How did you know? Yes I am very funny. Perhaps I haven’t grown up all the way as I still think bathroom humor is funny.
There are people of all races that I don’t like, but I don’t like them on a personal basis not a whole race sort of thing. Yes I think that big black piece of coal shipped to Mt Rushmore is funny as they are supposed to use it to add Obuma to that monument. Hilarious, cause it is funny, not cause he is that n word thing. Yes I know I called the president Obuma not Obama (self) hehehehehe still funny! It is just a thing I do. Am sure he can think of many things to call me if he wants to.
Now the next person that calls me a racist is gonna get it. I am going to send them such a whammy they won’t know what hit them. You been told. I know what you’re thinking, does he mean that or not… Just try me ;o)
Walks With Thunder