by Walks with Thunder | Jun 3, 2013 | Uncategorized
Fathers Day 2013,
Looking back on my past Fathers Days I don’t recall doing much for my father. I think we did a card in grade school and an ash tray of clay from my hand print. I didn’t really think about it, as fathers go mine was there most of the time. However I had judgment around his actions. Had I realized he was married to a Drama Queen I would have probably had less judgment around him, at the time I didn’t know. I thought my mom was “normal” not having comparisons. He drank beer, I didn’t like the smell of that, and I didn’t like the effect it had on him either. As it brought to the surface his angry side, most likely that is why I don’t drink, not wanting to be that person. He smoked a pack a day for all the time I knew him. I didn’t like the smell of that either. As a result I don’t smoke or associate with those that smoke.
Being a father is a choice. I see many children growing up without fathers. They won’t know the joy of having a father that cares about them. Educates them and supports what they want to do in life. Those absent fathers not only ran out on a child, baby, but also a woman. Being a single parent is a tough job. I only did it for 5 years but I can tell you it took all I had to maintain everything myself. Cooking, cleaning, dad taxi, school, work, and so on. It is probably a good thing those men run out on their responsibilities as their children won’t learn from them. Knowing it was a jerk move to leave and not be there for the family they created and then broke. I have no respect for such men, they are the worst example of what men are and can be.
My dad was a great example of what not to do. I recall thinking that I wanted to be a much better father than the one I got. My son and I talked about everything. We went on a trip to Disneyland from Seattle to LA. On the flight he had so many question at age 4. Dad why is the sky blue? It is blue because the air filters out all the other colors except blue. It should be black as space is black. The sun light hits the air (atmosphere) and reflects only the blue color to us here on the ground. Dad, why does the flash light blink with a red light? If there was a problem and the power went out on the airplane, the blinking light would help you find it. If there is a problem you don’t want to stand up if the air is full of smoke, the better air that won’t hurt you is down there near the floor. So you don’t have to stand up to get that flashlight. Our flight attendant upon hearing my explanation added, you Dad is right. There are also lights in the floor to lead you to the exits, they only come on in an emergency. I have noticed that even today my son asks me questions. These days his question are much harder and some times my answer is you’re going to have to Google that my son.
We read the Harry Potter series of books when he was 6 and continued on till he was 9, at which point he took the latest book and said I can read this faster on my own dad. Owch, I loved reading to him and noted the milestone of him reading faster to himself than hearing me read to him. There have been many milestones some happy some not so happy. When my 1st wife and I got a divorce I asked him who would you like to live with and who would you like to visit? Dad I want to live with you. It is unusual for a man to get custody of the child in our country. Single dads are rare, most women are better at the nurturing part of raising children. Over the years we were bachelors together for years.
One of my rules as a single father was to let my son have a say in who I dated. After a few dates I would decide if they should meet my son or not. If they did meet him I told them if he doesn’t like you I can’t date you. I have to respect his needs and comfort level. That worked out for us as my son always felt secure that if an evil person tried to be in our lives he could say no. That is not working for me and be heard and have action taken.
There are some lessons I still have to teach him about relationships and communication. My job as his father is probably never going to be finished. He keeps telling me to be good to him as he is going to choose my care facility when I am old. These days my son is on his own. We see each other twice a week if we can, going to dinner or movies or just talking about our common interests. He said dad you know we are very compatible as friends, because you raised me to like what you like. We played computer games together since he could sit up. We watched the same movies, and TV shows. Of course I like what you like we grew up together doing those things. I like the way he puts it, we grew up together.
At some point in his life I know that spirit will call him. When it does it will be my honor to teach him what I know about spirit, being shaman runs in the blood you know. He asks for my help when he needs it. When he bought a car I was there to watch over the deal. Had to step in only once with the actual blue book value of the car he wanted. He got a fair price. When he had an unavoidable accident he asked me to be there for his insurance mediation. That took a couple years. A young man from Russia had been in the car my son hit. He felt the insurance should pay a much higher price for his pain and suffering. My son’s lawyer said you can take this or leave it. Eventually he took it.
I love my son, but I don’t have to like him, though I do. We have a joyful time together just being who we are. He is the better version of me, smarter, nicer, healthier, and sometimes wiser too. The greatest thing I have ever done is be his father. I know healing people is important but the lasting effect I have left on our world is my son. He makes it a better place by being the best he can be.
May all the fathers in our world know they are important to the children they have. That doing your best is all anyone can do. Take time to enjoy the children you have, they are only going to be that size today. Enjoy the wonder they bring, share the discovery, and share what you know with them, read to them with funny voices and facial expressions. Bring the magic of our world alive for them, walking in nature, sharing a family pet. Letting them know they are important and that you love them every day. Even today I always tell my son I love you.
by Walks with Thunder | May 22, 2013 | Uncategorized
It has been a rough few weeks. Bombings, Tornadoes, Presidential Scandals, and of course our own personal trials. Sometimes I have a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. What could possibly go wrong now? When that happens it is a clear sign I have to push the new away and take a deep breath and relax. Count my blessings and do what I can in my world to make life a better place.
That may be as easy as holding my little dog Dissy. Playing ball with her or just telling her how beautiful she is. Calling a friend and asking what life is like from their view point, doing what I can to help out where I can. Helping a friend with chores, mowing the lawn. I love being outside, smelling the fresh mown grass, feeling sunshine on my body as I garden.
My love for reading hasn’t diminished over the years, a good book, a great sandwich and an easy chair! The natural disasters that take children’s lives are the hardest to deal with. Knowing that tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. Old age is a privilege many will not receive. My 1st wife passed away at 42, she gave me our son and that is a gift I am always grateful for. I find comfort in knowing that spirit is never wasted. I remember past lives and passing from this life to the next. The painful part came before passing, passing itself is an adventure. The feeling of flying, and your spirit expanding past the confines of the body.
Take some time and push back from the world of Disasters and loss. Have a deep breath and be thankful for what you have. Losing material things can be difficult but losing a life is the worst. A material item can be replaced by something else, a life can be remembered. A bad situation can always be worse, look for the solutions not the problems. Love is the thing we are here to do, let’s do it right. Love is always the answer.
Walks With Thunder
www.walkswiththunder.net
by Walks with Thunder | May 20, 2013 | Uncategorized
Hello Everyone,
There are times when our personal problems seem very small compared to another person’s. I heard on the news that Oklahoma had a tornado class 5, with a 2 mile base as it went through Moore Oklahoma today. The death toll is rising, at last check it is 51. 20 of those dead are children. Join me in sending them a blessing.
We ask the grandfather and grandmother spirits to focus their power, will and intent. We ask that they bless the people of Moore and all the others hurt by the Tornadoes today. We ask the spirit of the weather be kind and dissipate the power of the Tornadoes to be nondestructive. We ask that those hurt be healed and those that have passed away be taken care of in a good way. We ask that the recovery period for this be short and powerful. I ask that the blessing we should have asked for surrounding this be given as well as this one that we want. We thank the nations.
Walks With Thunder.
by Walks with Thunder | May 15, 2013 | Uncategorized
Counting my Blessings,
Woke with an old song in my head. Bing Crosby singing ‘when I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.’ I do have much to be thankful for. I don’t drive as much as I used to. Yesterday while taking my friend to her Naturopath and then to the Medical Marijuana candy store, I was just a little drowsy while driving. Those little road turtles (round ceramic tiles) woke me up as I ran over them. I am thankful we have that on our roads and that I don’t have to drive much anymore.
Sometimes it is the little things that add up to make a great thing possible. I am thankful that my friend at last found a good night sleep. Having just walked away from my keyboard, a gentle reminder to write was given, that song is stuck in my head. I have given my word that I would be here for my friend in this time. Dealing with disease is a difficult thing. Pain robs you of sleep, the will to live, the joy of life, being able to cope with the everyday little parts of life. Her pain is in the background now and that is good. She knows I am here and she won’t travel this path alone.
I am thankful I have a good place to live, sleep and work. I enjoy my life. Going out with my son two or three times a week. Happy that he wants to spend time with me at the age of 26, I am blessed. There was a time when I counted how many models I knew, 46 at last count, and then it occurred to me that knowing goddesses was the real thing to be happy about. A goddess is a woman that knows who she is, what she wants, and doesn’t let anything hold her back. She has a beauty that shines from within and is easily visible in her smile and the grace she walks with. With age I have grown to appreciate more than just the boobs and hair. These days it takes so much more to catch my attention. Though it could be at my age I wonder why I walked into the room for some times!
I am blessed I know how to cook, bake and follow directions. Knowing my dog loves me and her son to be here with her makes me happy. Having met and loved some goddesses in my time I am very lucky. Learning from that, I know how important it is to communicate clearly with the ones you love. That they know you love them because, they are who they are. I am ready to love a goddess, with everything I am. Enjoying the perfect moments that come along now and then. Holding them in my spirit so I can return to those moments when the present moment has me at a loss. Letting those perfect moments lift me up when I don’t think I can go forward.
Wisdom it has been said is learning what works and what doesn’t by doing what is wrong till you find out how to do it right. At 55 YOA I have some wisdom, learned that listening and remembering is what makes a great friend, lover, and shaman. I am blessed.
When I think about this life I have it is a good one, Easy days, comfort, joy, and helping others. The life of service is not going to make me rich much to my disappointment. Though I do love what I do and how many can really say that? I am grateful my detractors aren’t very smart, and have not yet learned that months from now what people will remember is my name. The power I walk with is real, I don’t suffer fools, and a ready curse is often my response when attacked. My son says I would make a terrible president as I wouldn’t hesitate to push the nuke button. He is right of course, I often use a nuke when a hand grenade would do. I am a spiritual warrior, I know this, and in its own way it is a blessing to be the hand of Karma.
Hollywood calls me, I don’t have an agent and have been on TV. I love that! My will and intent are that I have my own TV show. I should probably refine that to number 1 TV show that makes me rich! My apprentices are powerful healers, blessings in their communities. I am a psychic reader, my clients usually ask me about love and relationships. I can sometimes see the people in my mind’s eye and when I describe them my clients are a bit freaked out that I can see them. Knowing the path of epic romance is a great thing as it brings clarity to those who don’t know it. They feel comforted by the information and the vision of what happens next. Blessings are a good thing.
As a spiritual healer I am gifted to have immediate results. Though not all can be healed this way many can and are. I am blessed to have many friends that put up with my crazy magical life. That know when I say a thing it is a true thing. Fairies are real. Angels are real. The president is not real, just thought I would add a laugh. What one of those three statements is false? Yes the last one.
I could go on counting my blessings as I haven’t even come close to counting them all. What are your blessings? I saw a picture of a woman painting with a paintbrush in her mouth as she had no hands. She inspired me. Whatever my problems are they could be so much worse. As I sit here at my computer, I know there are many who don’t have what I have. Even though everything I own could be put in a storage locker 10 ft. by 10 ft. and still have room left over. I have most of my health, and if I am lucky will live a long time.
May your blessings be many and your worries be few. May you be in heaven an hour before the evil one knows your dead. The Irish are so funny, I love their culture!
Walks With Thunder
by Walks with Thunder | May 9, 2013 | Uncategorized
Mothers Day, again!
This is a holiday I don’t celebrate anymore as my mom has passed away. That was a good thing as she was a drama queen and created drama if there was none to be had. My son’s mother died when he was 14, seems like only last month. He does send his Mother’s day greeting to my 2nd ex-wife Laura. She was and is very good to him. Was there for him when he needed a mother, didn’t try and replace is biological mother, instead made her own place next to her.
Towards the end of my 1st wife’s life she was hospitalized for 9 months. Andrew and Laura made her a huge door sized event calendar. They both shopped for what they would put in it. DVD’s, books, candy, sox, things that would fit into an 8” by 6” pocket. She loved it. My 1st wife never complained that Laura was taking her place or had too much of our son’s attention. Somehow Laura made our family work at a difficult time.
Being shaman I was given a sign of my 1st wife’s passing. I was upstairs at out beach house in Belfair WA. Just resting, when I saw a fuchsia red color coming from the satellite dish control box. Odd because that was a green LED. I knew it was a paranormal event but didn’t understand the meaning. I said to the spirits in the room, I don’t understand, tell me what this means. Almost immediately the fuchsia colored light projected itself to be right in front of me and resolved itself into a crystal fuchsia colored casket. In that moment I understood this was a portent of death (Duh). A few minutes later my 1st ex-wife called to say she couldn’t make it to see us the next day as she wasn’t feeling well enough to travel. I told her not to worry her plane ticket would be there when she was ready to use it. Get better and talk to Andrew, she is welcome anytime. Those were the last words I spoke to her. Two days later her mom called me to say she had died overnight from a stroke and a heart attack. Most likely the heart attack brought on by the fear from the stroke.
I hadn’t known how hard that would hit me. We had been married for 17 ½ years. I cried for 4 months, every day for hours. My 2nd wife told me, I am ok with you crying for her, because I know when I go you’re going to cry for 6 months. Laura is so funny. It is part of what made her a great mother to my son. I say mother because there was no difference from the way she treated him than her own biological children. Now that is a great mom.
A few years later Laura told me she had never had a relationship last longer than 7 years. We beat that record by a month! She asked for and received a divorce and in November of 2007 she got it. Even so she and I are friends, and Andrew still thinks of her as his other mother. I am sure she is just going to tell everyone how great I think she is because she is in my Mother’s Day Article. She says she is my biggest fan, and I am hers. Here we are 6 years later and my son is asking me if she will like the funny gift he got her. No I am not going to tell you what it is she doesn’t have yet!
I know that my mom was an awful cook. I grew up not knowing that, just knowing that I liked school lunches because they were so good! Does that tell you anything? She put tomato sauce on everything, peas, green beans, corn, and broccoli. Give that woman a beautiful steak and she would turn it into the best shoe leather on a plate anywhere. She and my father had a love hate relationship. Every couple weeks they would have a big fight. He would get paid and buy a case of beer and drink most of it on a Saturday. That would make my mom angry and she would begin pushing his buttons. Until he had a meltdown. Not a pretty sight, every two weeks drama, and let’s not forget holidays. My mom put the d in dysfunctional. So not having her around anymore is a good thing. Way less drama, holidays and meals are much better.
My friend Angie has a great mother. She comes to visit Angie every couple of years. I just love Angie’s mom, she is a tiny woman, maybe 117 pounds, 5’ ¾” tall who never stops moving. She is always doing something. Painting, gardening, making cookies, cleaning, I find myself looking for the batteries she must have. They get along very well. Thought Angie does have her complaints, nothing like mine would be. I keep telling her she has the best mom ever! I can see that at 68 or so she is still beautiful. A quick smile on her face and always thinking of her family and friends.
We all make choices about who we are and what we do, every moment is a choice. How we react and how we show that reaction to others. Some mothers at the moment of birth decide they can’t be a mother right now and give up the child. Other mothers see that child and are emotionally bonded for life. A mother doesn’t have to be the biological birth mother. She can be a woman that loves a child as her own. Protecting, nurturing, loving, and caring for them as her own the rest of her life. Bless all the mothers out there to have a great relationship with their children and families. May they always know love and be loved. May their short comings be small and their regrets few.
Walks With Thunder.
by Walks with Thunder | May 6, 2013 | Uncategorized
Mists of Time
Summer has come early to our little town of Kent WA. 83 degrees yesterday, in the Pacific Northwest that is unusual, in the Puget Sound it is rare. Am sure those folks that are having snow storms in May with records being broken for snowfall are also saying the same thing. I feel for them but somehow the sunshine has put me in a mellow mood this morning. As I was eating my Fruit Loops the ‘mists of time’ took me back to my year in 4th grade.
My friend Al and I were walking to school one fine May day, and decided that instead of going to school we should take an unscheduled field trip to Willows Pond. I like to think that I have always been an adventurer, just something in my spirit that can’t be tamed. We changed direction and started walking, that was how we did it back then in the 60’s, we walked or road our bikes, without helmets. We turned out OK even without all the safety equipment. My cousin Alvin used to skate board on this 14 inch board without pads or a helmet. He taught me how to change the world one summer. The sidewalks had been painted with a message, “No Skate Boards”. He took some mud, and put it over the word No, then came back the next day and kicked it off the side walk. No, was gone with the mud, It now said “Skate Boards”. Sorry off on a tangent, those ‘mist of time’ are tricky.
We must have walked about 5 miles to the pond. Wasted time just throwing stones, or skipping stones into the pond. A pond is an odd thing in the desert, Burns Oregon is surrounded by desert. Scrub brush, Sage Brush, Coyote, Rattle snakes, however around the pond there were willow trees. Could be why they called it willows pond. We built a raft and decided that the raft project needed more work so we kept coming back for a couple weeks working on it and just having fun in this unplanned heat wave.
Our time off from school went unnoticed for about two weeks. When our 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Grenade, that is what we called her back then, Mrs. Ganeay, called our parents and asked if we were OK and what had we been doing for two weeks. It went downhill from there. They put us on detention for a month, and we weren’t allowed to talk to each other at school. His mom said I was a bad influence and he couldn’t play with me anymore. Of course my parents said the same thing about Al and I was forbidden to associate with him.
I do think of that time as magical. Eating our lunches out at the pond, enjoying the warm weather, being out in nature. Not a soul for miles and miles, for a brief time I was free! I wonder if Willows Pond is still there? It doesn’t hold the attraction it did when I was in 4th grade but you never know when an unscheduled field trip will happen, cause they are unscheduled. What happened to Al, I like to think he is out there somewhere doing things that have adventure running rampant in the world.
What is holding you back from being free? These days as a grownup, and I use that word lightly in my case, I have to work if I want to eat well and pay bills, and have a nice place to live. Weekends and vacations are that place adventure lives now. Though walking the trails with my dogs and my friends is nice, it’s not the adventure I was thinking of.
A few years ago I had a dream. I was sitting under a palm tree, my feet in white sand. A beautiful Island girl was with me, she was hot! We were talking, “come to the Islands, they will welcome you home”. I said ‘sounds like a great idea except it is so far away’. We got up and walked on the wet beach. I looked back the way we had come and saw that her foot prints had a liquid in them. We were holding hands and both bent down to see what it was. I let go of her hand and looked closely at the liquid, it was molten glass. I turned to look at her and she was gone.
I asked a Hawaiian apprentice of mine who she thought that was in my dream. Pele often shows herself as a “hot” woman in every sense of the word. When you take your eyes off the goddess she vanishes. Leaving a trail of glass foot prints in the sand was her clue to you of who she really is. You have been invited to the islands. I would consider going, after all when a goddess welcomes you home it would be rude not to go.
I wonder if there is adventure in Hawaii. May you be blessed to live your life not just exist, may you be blessed to enjoy your time and not just survive. If there are blocks in your path lets remove them, keep moving, it is harder to hit a moving target you know. Beware of those ‘mist of time’ they seem to come around more often after you hit your 50s.
Walks With Thunder
