As of 11 AM PST 2-15-14, I have heard 4 people tell me they had a breakup over Valentine’s Day. I often tell people that this time of year is rough on relationships, though we can also say that about Christmas through New Year’s as another rough patch. Perhaps it is the pressure of this made up holiday, or just a good excuse not to continue on with a relationship your just not feeling good about anymore.
I saw a movie a few years ago, Valentine’s day, the star of the movie starts out with a beautiful woman he has just proposed to and she feels she isn’t ready and breaks up with him and moves out. Though he does get a happy ending with his good friend who is in a low self-esteem relationship with a married man. Most of the time that doesn’t work out so well for everyone concerned. The simple fact is men lie to get laid. A stiff (you know what) has no conscious. Man wisdom isn’t concerned with long term consequences, just in the moment am I happy. As long as both are getting their immediate needs met no harm to them but the wife or husband being cheated on takes an emotional beating. Have to say that if they were meeting the needs of their spouse, they wouldn’t be cheated on. Everyone in the love triangle has a part in what goes on there.
A friend of mine is married to a Playboy Playmate of the year (she was playmate of the year 4 times!). We would have a great time in LA and I would see a beautiful woman and say something nice about her and he would say, I have better at home. I had met his wife many times and though she was pretty I didn’t really give her a second look. One evening I was over with my girlfriend and his wife called out from the house as we approached and asked if we could give her a hand with some cases filled with jewelry. They were bulky but very light, so I picked up 4 and my girlfriend got 4 too. As we walked up to the house, I saw a beautiful woman in a blue sparkle gown kissing my friend. I just stood there stunned at her beauty. It was his wife but I had never seen her with makeup or in anything other than jeans and a sweatshirt. Suddenly I was snapped out of this perfect moment with at smack to the back of my head and the words “get going!” Things didn’t go well from there! That is a perfect example of two people getting their needs met. I can’t say that mike was a handsome man or that he was in anyway extraordinary. His love for his wife is real though.
When a relationship ends during a stressful time I have found that remorse sets in and the person who broke it off will call and want to patch things up. It may take hours or even weeks but it does happen. A great opportunity to change what you don’t like in the relationship. I can take you back however I need X to change. X in this case being an end to a behavior that really bothers you. You might say I can take you back but I am now the priority in your life and there are just us two in this relationship.
I often say you cannot give someone what you do not have. You have to love yourself before you can love others in a powerful way. If you don’t honor yourself then you settle for less than you could have because you just don’t deserve better. When you’re ready you will know this wisdom. May your life be everything you always wanted it to be. May you have your happy ever after and may it satisfy you.
Walks With Thunder