My last dream was of my 1st girlfriend. When I was in 1st grade, having mastered English in Kindergarten, I made a new friend. She was a blond girl with big blue eyes and a pony tail. We were both at the back of the classroom of about 20 kids. The teacher was talking but we didn’t understand what she was saying because we couldn’t see the chalk board she was referring to. Our 1st words to each other were: “do you know what she is talking about?” That lasted about 5 minutes till our teacher came over and asked us what we were talking about. Being an experienced teacher she pronounced us both as needing glasses and put us at the front of the class. Oddly I don’t remember my 1st grade teachers name.
Over the school year my mom had cancer and was in the hospital for months. Having three sisters I noticed she was gone but it didn’t really change my everyday life. Still went to school, did my chores, played outside, and my cat still slept with me. My teacher did stop by and drop off a tuna noodle casserole with mushrooms in it. It was good, but then any food my mom didn’t cook was good, she was awful at cooking.
A week later we both had glasses. Hers were a pretty blue and mine were “the you’re not ever going to get a girlfriend black style”. As it turned out that experience bonded us together, June (little Blond) girl and I had a great year together. Playing at recess, having lunch together. As fate would have it her grandmother lived across from my backyard. So I got to see her over the summer too. We never kissed, though I did get a hug on my birthday and a card. It was an innocent kind of love we had.
At that age I had no words for it, even if I did they would have been in Spanish as that was the language I knew best. As an older person I now realize it was love. Had I know it then it would have been ICKY! We had something more than friendship and fate seemed to be throwing us together. I love that about fate.
These days as a “grownup” fate doesn’t rule my life as much as it did as a child. I get to choose where I go and when. Though fate does offer me choices now it still plays a small part. I am calling fate that random event that throws people together. Now I say I am making choices that “put us together”, or “choose love most often”. Maybe I have you thinking about what your choices have been. When Angie passed away last summer, I made a choice not to live in that house anymore. Every time I let the dogs out I could see her last breath and I didn’t want to keep seeing her last moment.
There are many kinds of love. Love is what we are here to do, to be love. Of course there are lessons along the way. I feel the best thing we as humans do is love, it’s not science, or art, or math, or music, not anything else. Being able to love is the most powerful thing we can ever do. On this made up holiday, you can tell it’s made up as the banks are open and schools are open too, Valentine’s day lets buy into for just long enough to hear the message of love we want to be. May we all be blessed to know love in all its good ways.
Walks With Thunder