Success is a side effect of what you do.

That was the message I received in a dream last night. It was a very clear message from my higher self, in my own voice that said. Success is a side effect of what you do. Woke up with it in my head this morning. Ever noticed that people who seem to have everything still commit suicide? Famous Actors with money and seeming great lives decide life isn’t worth living. While most of us would say, that’s a great life well done, the person who has that life finds it intolerable.

As we can all only relate to what we have and not what it looks like others have, it is sometimes difficult to understand their motivation. My dear wife the Bunny says I wake up happy, go to bed and fall asleep in just a few minutes. I’m happy with what I have. Looking back over the years I have gone after what I wanted. Not content to leave that to chance. Though I have chosen poorly at times, I do recall that it was because I wanted the experience. Didn’t want to miss it. Knowing that those choices wouldn’t end well. Most of the time we can’t see what is really going on in someone else’s life, even our own lives are like that. We miss the fine details of what is wrong or right about us.

While observing our barbarian who is four and a half years old, I see he has boundaries. I can’t play right now I sleeping. Weather he knows it or not he has set a boundary. I may have to upgrade his nick name to Savage. He’s been through so much, yet he is very happy. He sings, he plays, he yells with joy and sometimes anger. Making his voice heard! As a child I’m sure I didn’t do that. What would make him need to have his voice heard that he has to yell at an adult.

If you said he’s been abused your probably right. Though we can only guess at what really happened while he was out of our care for 33 days. His version is very innocent of what happened and his way of dealing with it doesn’t seem to be working. Going to give him encouragement on making boundaries and having a positive self-image. Talk about what love is, what care means. Putting that into words a child can understand. The Bunny’s love for him is powerful, he still makes a mess but now he cleans it too. Our boundaries and his can coexist.

Showing my love for the Barba.. Savage means taking care of his needs. Buying him special food or showing him how to fix things. Letting him help me with the pool and the yard. Yesterday the Bunny, the Savage and I were fixing the dishwasher cleaning jets. At one point we went outside in 105-degree weather and used our high-pressure hose to clean it out. Much water ensued as we were all soaked and had to change after cleaning out our malfunctioning water jet. Job done, and much fun was had fixing it. Lesson it can be fun to fix something, use the right tools for the job.

Showing my love is not just food and teaching. It’s watching out for his safety. Having boundaries that enforced with the proper negative result. Make a mess, clean a mess. Time out, iPad taken away for a few minutes or hours, talking about why it’s not a good idea to do that. I do try to make those moments memorable. Using a soft voice, allowing one on one time to talk it over.

Life success isn’t about money, or power, or even magic, it’s about how we care for the ones we love. The innocent powerless ones. I know I can do a better job and I will. Though none of us are perfect just wanting to make better decisions is a good start. May we all become who we have always wanted to be every day.

Walks With Thunder